Adrian's cooking disasters

Episode 2: Return of the red wine

Yes folks, the red wine returns in tonight's episode. Not because I wanted to give it another dig. No, it's because nobody wanted to drink wine with cork in it. Oh well, we'll see what we can stir up (pardon the pun). Today, we are cooking some beef spare ribs stir fry with red wine and other stuff. Now before you start... yes, I am a big fan of beef spare ribs. It also happened to be one of the only things that was defrosted. The fridge is getting kind of full. It's also pretty different to the previous dish, as it is boiled first, and includes different ingredients. Anyway, on to the meal...

Stir fry beef spare ribs with random stuff

Ingredients:

• Beef spare ribs
• Water
• Salt
• Red wine
• Tomato sauce
• Mixed herbs

Take a pot and boil some water in it. Chop up the spare ribs to desired sizes. Then, when the water starts boiling, add the beef spare ribs. Cook this for about an hour to an hour and a half on medium (this softens up the beef, making it really nice to munch on).

After that hour is up, prepare to take out the beef and add the ingredients to it. Then realise that your brother had started to cook dinner already, and a fried one at that. Think to yourself "damn, that looks really good" and decide to eat that instead. Decide to postpone your cooking to breakfast.

Wake up and have a nice big TV delivered to your house. Whilst your testing out the TV, ask your brother for breakfast. When breakfast is served, promptly say to yourself "oh crap, I was meant to cook that beef for breakfast." Delay the cooking till dinner.

Boil, baby, boil

When it's dinner time you can finally continue the cooking. Heat the beef up (again, since it's gone cold), adding water if necessary. When it's nice and hot, turn off the heat then prepare to take out the beef. Realise that the ladle (or as I'd like to call it "the big spoon") has been used for other cooking, and quickly wash the thing. While washing the ladle, look at the mess in the sink and exclaim to yourself "sigh." Now you can take out the beef spare ribs. However, don't take out all of them, because you put too much in there. At this point you would have noticed how hot the beef is, and start regretting not wearing gloves to hold the bowl where you're putting the beef.

After a reasonable amount of beef is placed in a bowl, wait till the beef cools. Then add some corky wine (filtered with a drainer, like last time). Pour yourself some wine too, since nobody seems to want to drink it. Add some tomato sauce, salt, and mixed herbs, then mix it all around.

That mix is looking wonderful

Place the beef on a lightly oiled frying pan and fry on medium. Wait until you burn a fair portion of the beef before you decide to stop. Say to yourself "geez, doesn't smell very good, does it?" then serve.

Cooking up a storm

The finished product

The result? The beef was nice and soft, but the taste was pretty bland. Just the opposite of last time. Fancy that. In the upcoming episode, a cooking disaster first: I'll be using some prepared sauces! Can I manage to stuff up even that? Tune in next time to find out.