Adrian's cooking disasters

Episode 3: Revenge of the frying pan

Okay, so maybe I said last time that I was gonna do a cooking experiment with pre-made sauces. Unfortunately, that went far too well, and I didn't deem it worthy of a 'disaster'. However, I felt that I should mention it before I moved on.

On a slightly more disastrous note, I did try to cook some mashed potatoes early this morning when I couldn't sleep. It was the second time I had attempted to cook this dish and, since the first time had been a raving success, I was more confident this time around. The only difference this time was that I decided to use less potatoes (last time had too much for one serving). Unfortunately, I had forgotten this fact when I went to add the milk to the mash. The result? Incredibly watery semi-mashed potatoes. However, I did salvage this meal by using a drainer (which I wasn't 100% convinced was clean) to drain out the excess liquid, making the mash a lot more normal.

Anyway, today's episode...

(Not very) Green eggs and ham!

Ingredients:

• Thick round piece of ham
• Egg
• Salt
• Garlic
• Rice
• Frying pan with unknown oil

The vegetable peeler is only there for effect

Take some ham and dice it up into cubes. Look around at the stove top and decide to use the frying pan with an oil from who knows where that's probably been there for 3 or 4 days.

Spooky, no?

After heating up the pan, add the diced up ham and stir until cooked. Don't forget to add salt, and certainly don't forget to spill the salt all over the stove top afterwards. When the ham is done, place it on a plate and move onto the egg. Crack the egg on an edge and proceed to get egg white all over your hands. After cleaning your hands, remember that you turned the stove off and quickly light it to medium. Scramble the eggs then and there, on the pan, to get a nice white and yolk scrambled egg mix. Add salt to the eggs as it cooks. Again, spill the salt all over the stove top afterwards.

The pan with the ham, Sam I am

Place the eggs on the plate, add a bit of oil to the stove, and add some garlic. When the garlic browns, add some rice. Stir the rice around for a bit and add some salt (spill it). When it looks cooked enough, turn off the stove and put the rice on the plate with the ham and scrambled egg.

The finished product

The result? It actually turned out exactly as I expected... it tasted like eggs and ham. Apart from the whole salt-spilling incident, this meal wasn't a disaster at all! But, since this segment is about bad cooking experiences, doesn't that mean that this meal is really a disaster? Think about it.

(Apologies for my shaky hand in the photos)